Papa Anaisie Yarquah: Marriage Is Not For Kids

Before marriage, we all thought that once the knots are tied, this life would go sweet die. Only you with your man/woman, enjoying, partying, shopping, doing somersaults anyhow, this, that, yen yen yen.

Most of us didn’t consider the pressures that would come from homekeeping, financial pressure on the family, stress from in-laws, friends, coping with the demands of our jobs while securing the home front, etc. We didn’t even think that a time would come when little discussions could result in very big quarrels, and you could actually keep malice with your partner and say to hell with him/her.

We thought having sex every day would just be fun since we’ve gotten the license to be weird. We never imagined that we would one day be forming tayad in the oza room.

We thought everything would just go as planned, and we would live happily ever after. We never did imagine the frustrations, the heartbreaks, the regrets, the hurtful words, and actions that would one day come from our heartthrob intentionally or otherwise.

Most of us thought love texting is fun and would never cease, but here we are, sending a list of things to buy, issues to be resolved, school fees, utility bills, etc., most times even forgetting to add love you at the end of the messages.

What about pillow talks? We enjoyed lots of it during courtship, discussing the future, tutoring each other, giggling throughout the night, and all. We thought marriage would bring out the Ph.D. of that aspect.

Little did we know that sometimes we would sleep off on the couch even without having our night bath. Pillow talks have advanced to kitchen/on-the-way-out talk. As you’re coming out from one challenge, you’re faced with another. It’s like a loop, we keep going round and never getting to the end.

These things are overwhelming to a lot of people. You see wonderful sweet women becoming something else. The men, most times, start looking for outdoor activities. Some see themselves as stuck with each other and just continue to manage and hope for a better tomorrow, while the impatient ones seek ways and excuses to return to spinsterhood/bachelorhood.

It takes a lot to make this thing called marriage work. If you’ve not been there, you won’t understand any of those. So the next time you see couples celebrating their marriage anniversary, rejoice with them, ‘cos what they celebrate is beyond the beautiful appearances they put up and the fine pictures you see on social media.

Every marriage anniversary is worth celebrating. Don’t wait until you’re 25 years in marriage. Kudos to all men and women who despite the many challenges are still keeping up with the love they saw and believed in.

May God continue to strengthen your home and give you double success for every effort you make, Amen. If you can’t forgive, please don’t marry. Marriage is a Ministry of ‘Offence’.

So you must be a permanent secretary in the Forgiveness Department, with a Ph.D. in Understanding, M.Sc. in Loving, and a B.Sc. in Tolerance. Marriage is beautiful.

Papa Anaisie Yarquah

Edited and published by: Clement Afreh CBCInc Hypes @clementafreh